With Love
by MiniBerry
Summary: Sora sits down to write in her diary and reveals her world of secrets, love, and betrayal. Contains Taiora and onesided Taito and Mimato. And...gasp there is no characterbashing!


**Disclaimer: **No, I don't own Digimon. If I did, do you seriously think I would be wasting my time writing *fanfics*? Didn't think so.  
  
**Notes from the Author:** Hello everyone! I'm back with a vengeance! Grrrr...*sinks teeth into unsuspecting ice cream cone* Ow. Just to let you know, I have nothing against Yamato. Nor do I have anything against homosexuals, and I think homophobics are very mean people. Um...let's see...I have been off my fanfic-kick for a really long time, but I just started reading again, and I was inspired. Plus I enjoyed writing in my blog so much, I decided to try my hand at another story, and it only took me a half hour! It's not particularly interesting, but it's cute. Read and see!**  
  
**

  
With Love  
  
  
By Miniberry-Aug. 3, 2003  


  
Sixteen-year-old Takenouchi Sora switched on her desk lamp, pulled out a mahogany chair complete with maroon seat cushion, and sat down. Surveying her immaculate workspace, she picked up a thoroughly chewed pencil and a prominently placed journal. Opening it to a blank page, she bit the eraser softly and began to write.  


  
***  


Dear Diary (however clichéd that may be)  
  
Today has been a lovely day. Aren't they all, though? It's difficult to hate anything when spring has just sprung; the sky is a deep blue with barely a cloud in sight, the birds are coming out in full force, and all of the plants that survived the winter are beginning to display their beauty. I woke up this bright Sunday morning much earlier than I should have...around six thirty, if you want the exact time. I stumbled out of bed, dressed myself in black running shorts and my white exercise top, and brushed out my hair. I'm proud of my hair...even Mimi has professed her jealousy of its glossiness and rich auburn color. I don't mean to be vain, but I'm so plain that I have to take what I can get, don't you understand, Diary? Putting my hair up in a ponytail to keep it out of my way, I went for my Sunday morning run through the streets of Odaiba. I love to watch the vendors open up in the morning. The bakeries are just beginning to take their wares out of the ovens, and I can never keep myself from stopping at one and sampling a croissant, pastry, or some other delicious item.   
  
Upon returning to my house, I grabbed my tennis gear and headed out to the subway station by way of the Yagami household. Every Sunday morning, I go with Taichi and little Hikari to meet Tachikawa Mimi, Takaishi Takeru, and the irrepressible Motomiya Daisuke at the subway to head to our club practices. Mimi was delighted when Hikari made the cheer squad, and has been a wonderful mentor to her. Takeru has become quite the basketball star, and of course Daisuke and Taichi tear up the soccer pitch every day. They're known as the Twin Terrors by the whole soccer team. Reaching the apartment, I wasn't at all surprised to find that Taichi was running a bit late. Hikari and I talked for a while until he came to the door, sporting that adorable lopsided grin and apologizing profusely. Oh, I just can never be mad at him, even when he nearly made us miss our train. Again.  
  
Tennis practice was long and rigorous today. I was exhausted barely halfway through. But it was necessary...the regional competition is next Saturday, and I have to defend my title. The entire school has a title to defend, actually. I think we're in a good position to do well... Chiaki has hit a hot streak, Mariko has been consistent all season, and the doubles team of Nozomi and Tomoko is simply unbeatable. It'll be so exciting, I can't wait! Anyway, practice went a little late, and Daisuke and Taichi decided to come watch the end. I was playing against Chiaki, and we were pretty evenly matched today. With the guys cheering me on, I was able to squeak by her and the coach commended us on our excellent match. I felt as if I was glowing as Taichi and Daisuke congratulated me. After we picked up the other three, Hikari announced that she was going to the library to study. Daisuke and Takeru immediately announced their desire to study with her. Those two never change...  
  
So it seemed to be just Mimi, Taichi, and I for our late lunch, until Taichi decided that he didn't trust the boys with his beloved little sister. As he left to play chaperone, he waved goodbye and said he'd see us later. I sighed...as much as I love Mimi (she's my best girl friend for a reason), she can be....how should I put it....overbearing at times, and I could tell she was about ready to tell me something important, which always meant lots of squealing and dramatics. Oooooh...come on, Sora, let's go eat *quickly*! I have something important to tell you! she gushed as soon as Taichi was out of earshot. Figures. I resigned myself to my fate and followed her into a little street cafe to eat. We both ordered salads and made small talk for awhile, as I took sadistic pleasure in watching her nearly explode with the important secret inside her. Finally, she could hold it in no more, and she decided to tell me.  
  
Sora, you're my best friend, so I have to tell you this and see what you think. I nodded, and Mimi continued. I think I'm in love with Yamato. I choked on my lettuce.  
  
I had certainly not seen this coming. And I was certainly not happy to hear it. You see, I immediately knew that Yamato did not, would not, have the same feelings for her. It is times like these, Diary, that I wish my friends didn't see me as a confidante like they do. It hurts me when they have such conflicting feelings. It's not that Yamato doesn't like Mimi. Oh, he likes her well enough. It's just that Yamato is...well, he's...  
  
Yamato's secret was not mine to tell, and I certainly didn't want to complicate things by making an elaborate lie for Mimi. But looking into Mimi's bright, shining eyes, I knew that I wouldn't have the heart to tell her even a little white lie. I decided to let Yamato take care of this in a way that he found suitable. I said, taking a deep breath, you've known Yamato for years. Why don't you just tell him? You know he'll give you a straight answer.  
  
Mimi sighed. Don't you think I've thought of that? I just can't! I think it's the real thing this time! Which just makes me more nervous.  
  
I chewed my lip. This gave me a small opening, and I decided to take advantage of it. Isn't love supposed to make you feel good, not nervous?  
  
Please, Sora. Do you really think I'm going to buy that? I tried to interrupt her, but she stopped me. It's obvious what's going on. You like him, don't you.  
  
  
  
Look, if you like him, just say so! I can take it, Sora, she snapped bitterly.  
  
Seriously, Mimi. I swear, I'm just trying to help you. Yamato and I decided to just be friends, and that's the way we're going to stay. I promise.  
  
Mimi glared at me for a minute, but then her gaze softened. I'm sorry, she sighed. I don't know what came over me. You've always been right about these things...but are you sure I should do this? Relieved, I nodded. Mimi smiled and stood up to give me a hug. Thanks, Sora! I owe you one! I had a hole in my stomach for the rest of the meal.  
  
After we finished eating and shoe shopping (it's not an afternoon with Mimi unless you've been shoe shopping) I stopped at home and checked my messages. Nothing came up, so I figured I'd sit around alone for the rest of the afternoon, or maybe go help my mom down at the shop. Luckily for me, however, my phone rang within minutes. I'll record the conversation here. It was short and important, so I can remember every word.  
  
Me: Hello?  
Taichi (sounding shaken): Sora....it's Taichi...I need to talk to you.  
Me (immediately nervous): Is everything okay?  
Taichi: Yes....no....ye...well....I...  
Me (cutting him off): I'll meet you at the little park in five minutes, okay?  
Taichi: Thank you, Sora...you're a lifesaver!  
  
Five minutes later, as promised, I found him at the park, sitting on a swing. Not actually swinging, just sort of swaying back and forth, feet dragging on the ground. His abnormally dull chocolate eyes were unmoving, staring out of a pale, decidedly un-Taichi-like face. I didn't think I wanted to know anything about whatever event had caused this disturbing change in my best friend. As I approached, he looked slowly up at me, and said the words I had been dreading for months. Sora...I talked to Yamato...and he said...  
  
Taichi didn't need to say any more. I knew exactly what he meant. Oh, Diary, this was so private, so secret, that I couldn't even write it down here. But now I think I need to, if only to calm my own nerves.  
  
I remember it clearly, as if it were this morning. It was a drizzly, gray Sunday, that day three months ago; nevertheless, when Yamato knocked on my door, he told me that he wanted to take a walk. The fact that he came to visit me wasn't very surprising, as my ex and I were on good terms. What was surprising was the look on his face. His sapphire eyes (Yamato has beautiful eyes) had taken on more of a teal color, like they did when he was angry or sad. His normally pale features were even paler, except for his nose, which was pink with cold. Yamato's usual confident, smug expression was replaced with one of...what was it? Vulnerability? Whatever it was, it made me nervous for him. I consented to take a walk with my distressed friend.  
  
We walked in silence for awhile under my gray umbrella. Yamato's hands were shoved deep into his pockets, as was my free hand. I sensed that he just needed to be around someone, and hoped that that was the only reason he had come to me. Unfortunately, I was wrong. We had been wandering for about ten minutes when he turned to me and said   
  
I ventured.  
  
I have something to tell you. He stopped here, staring at the ground for a little while. I decided not to press him, but oh, Diary, the suspense was killing me! Finally, he looked up, but I was not to hear the important bit of news yet. You are one of my best friends, and I trust you more than anyone else...I also trust your advice, and, after living with this for months, I decided that your guidance is what I really need right now. I nodded, not sure what else to do. He was quiet again, and I wondered if he'd lose his nerve, but finally, he stopped walking, turned to me, and said I...I'm gay.  
  
I blinked slowly, as time screeched to a halt. Yamato? Gay? I remember thinking that this couldn't be true. Yamato was a ladies' man! Why, just a year ago we had been dating! He...wow...he was gay? Slowly, I began to realize some signs I had missed. He had seemed to lose interest in going to the pool with the guys to check out girls in swimsuits, had taken to watching guys' sports more often, had stopped obsessing over random fangirls...how did I not see it coming? I realized that Yamato was waiting for me to say something. He looked like he was about to cry, so I did the only thing I could...dropped the umbrella and gave him a huge hug, pretending not to notice his tears on my shoulder. Thank you...for understanding... he whispered finally.  
  
Yamato, your sexuality has nothing to do with your personality. You're still Yama, gay or not. So you shouldn't worry.  
  
That's not the worst part though... he said tearfully. I'm in love with...with Taichi.  
  
This news was harder for me to take. I hoped he didn't feel my breath catch in my throat or hear my heart skip a beat.   
  
You don't have to say anything, he said. I know he's straight as an arrow, and that I have no chance. I'm not going to hit on him or anything...I just...I feel so guilty, and I don't even know why!  
  
I tried not to let myself cry. I felt horrible that Yamato was relying on me for something so important and I had no idea how to help him. I think, when you're ready, you should tell him that you're gay. But I don't think that telling him that you're in love with him would be a good idea...not until he's completely comfortable with your homosexuality.  
  
I don't remember much about the rest of the conversation, or that walk. I just remember that Yamato agreed with my last point, but he said he wanted Taichi to know about his feelings as soon as possible because he didn't want to feel guilty anymore. Yamato didn't want to conceal something this important from the person it concerned. I also remember Yamato's step being much lighter, his complexion a little darker. And I remember feeling good.  
  
But now, I knew instinctively that Yamato had told Taichi both things at the same time. And that Taichi had not taken it well at all. I sat down on the swing next to him and said softly, I know.  
  
He turned to me. You knew? For how long?  
  
Three months, I sighed. Three long months.  
  
Why didn't you tell me? Why? Taichi asked, with a bitter edge to his voice.  
  
I'm so sorry...it wasn't my secret to tell, I told him, feeling terrible.  
  
The boy beside me raised his voice. Does it matter? It directly affected me! And now...my best guy friend is in love with me...has been for three months...and my best friend knew, and didn't tell me! My world, he said dramatically, angrily, has been turned upside down. Thank you, Sora.  
  
I tried to ignore his histrionics. He's in shock,' I told myself. I said gently, trying to move the subject on, what exactly happened?  
  
We were in the library, and he was there. He took me into a corner and told me, and then...then...I told him I was okay with him being gay, but for him to be in love with me was just weird and wrong and gross and... he stopped suddenly. Oh my god, how could I have been so cruel? Sora... There were tears in his eyes now, as he realized what he'd done. I just walked away from him...the expression on his face was.... Taichi stood up and took a few steps away from the swing to lean on a tree, shoulders heaving wildly.  
  
I got up from my swing and went to stand beside him. You know you've hurt him badly... I began, wondering what to say next. You've got to apologize now. I mean...after you've recovered a little. He told me he won't hit on you or anything like that...he respects you too much. You're a good guy, Taichi, and Yamato will understand that you were just surprised when you reacted.  
  
Taichi turned his tearstained face to me. Everything just seems to be falling apart! My friendship with Yamato...I don't know where we stand anymore!  
  
I pulled him into a tight hug. As you can see, it's my main way of comforting people, and it seems to work. After crying into my shoulder for a while, Taichi seemed much better. Then, unexpectedly, he raised his head, a grin on his face. Let's see if you can run as well as you can cheer people up! Giving me a playful shove, he took off through the park. As soon as the initial shock wore off, I felt myself grinning, and then I ran off to chase him down.  
  
Either Taichi was going easy on me, or I was just faster than usual, because I caught up to him in record time and knocked him down, pinning his arms behind him and perching myself atop him to hold him down. I purred, proud of myself. (Wow, Diary, this is starting to sound dirty. I swear, there was nothing going on there! Well...)  
  
You win, Taichi said, resigning himself to his fate. He used his surprisingly muscular arms to lift me up and onto the grass beside him, sitting up triumphantly. Ha! Gotcha, he said, a smile in his voice, his expression and demeanor back to normal. I laughed, with relief and with amusement. Taichi could always make me smile. Taichi could always make me laugh. Taichi was...(Diary, I swear this is true!) leaning closer to me, and I was leaning closer to him, and before I knew it, we were sharing a little, sweet kiss. Any shock I might have been feeling was erased by the pleasantness of it all. I don't know how to explain exactly what I was feeling at that moment, but I knew that whatever it was, it was right. We opened our eyes and just smiled at each other. Smiled...oh, remembering that just makes me lose my concentration!   
  
Everything else from our time in the park is just a fuzzy, happy memory. We ran around, joined an impromptu soccer game, talked...a lot...but we didn't kiss again until he walked me home and left me outside my door. We leaned in again, and our kiss was longer and sweeter this time. His lips are firm and warm and...I feel so weird writing this! About Taichi! About anyone! I just have this warm feeling inside of me and I feel like I need to do something....write about it...hug someone...anything! I wish my mother was home, I could hug her and ask her how her day was...ask her if it was as beautiful as mine...without telling her anything, of course. It's our little secret now, mine and Taichi's.  
  
Oh...I just thought...what am I going to tell Yamato? The two people who know his secret are betraying him now. Taichi will go apologize to him for earlier, they'll get to talking, I wonder if this will come up? And what about Mimi? Oh well, I can't worry about that. I just feel too good. And somehow, Diary, I know things will work out.  
  
With Love,  
Sora.  
  


***  


Sora placed her pencil on the desk and closed her journal. She stretched out, extending from her long fingers to her besocked toes, feeling every muscle tense and relax. Shivering with the pure happiness of her memories, Sora turned off her light and went to meet her mom at the door, surrounded by an aura of well-being, comfort, and pure happiness.  
  
**Revenge of the Author's Notes: **Did you enjoy it? There are a couple of loose ends there just to feed your imagination. And if the inspiration strikes, I might write a sequel. Say... 10 reviews? I think if I do write this sequel, it will be from someone else's POV. Maybe Yamato? That would be fun...as a straight female, to write from a gay male's POV would be quite the challenge. But I think I'm up for it! And yes, I know besocked isn't a real word, but I think it's fun! Please, review! Constructive criticism and compliments are very well accepted, flames are laughed at and ignored. Not that I'd get any, eh? *wink wink.* Well, I'm off, I've got a love life of my own to attend to, not to mention the love lives of many of my friends. Poor me, I just feel so much like Sora sometimes....  
  
With Love,  
~Mini


End file.
